Saying goodbye…
“If I could wish for anything, it would be for my dog to live forever”
Whilst not a happy topic, supporting families saying goodbye to their beloved pets is one of the most important parts of our role as your veterinary care team. Many people might think that we become toughened to the emotional side of this difficult event, but I would argue that this couldn’t be further from the truth – every goodbye is sad for us, and we will do everything that we can to help guide you through the decision making and the actual process of saying goodbye to your pet when the time comes.
The veterinary profession is as much about working with people as it is about working with animals (something which I regularly tell work experience students – “if you’ve chosen to do this over becoming a doctor because you don’t like people, walk away now!”) The long established relationships that we build with our clients and their pets mean that I am still often reduced to tears saying goodbye to friends whom I have come to know so well.
I might have lost count of the goodbyes that I have been be a part of, but many of them are still vivid as the day they took place – the farm collie who fell asleep with his favourite ball still in his mouth; the 96 year old lady’s constant companion who slipped peacefully away at home by her side, as she whispered ‘see you soon’; the cat who had been a childhood companion to the grown up man who wept silently as he kissed her goodbye and left the room; the eight year old girl who bravely held her cat tight in her arms as he slipped away. These moments are the ones that are etched in my memory, but each and every goodbye is special and different, as every patient and their family need different support at this incredibly difficult time.
I have personally said goodbye to three much loved childhood cats and two ‘forever’ dogs since qualifying as a vet, all in very different circumstances, and the raw sense of loss and devastation that I felt after each was, and still often is, incredibly hard. In the days and weeks after we lost our first dog, the ‘tumbles’ of his hair that would appear from under the dresser in the dining room would reduce me to tears, knowing that there would be no more. I missed all the little habits and behaviours that made him so very special to our family. Our favourite walks were suddenly somber reminders that he was missing, the house felt so empty without him around and our spaniel wandered sadly around looking for him.
These personal experiences of loss opened up the ‘other side’ of saying goodbye – Keef was the first family dog that I had ever had to say goodbye to and despite years of experience as a vet at the time and knowing that we had made the right decision for him, I was shocked by how much his untimely and unexpected death affected us all. Last year, when we had to make the decision to say goodbye to my old boy Fletch, I spent days wondering whether we were doing the right thing – talking to friends and colleagues until I was certain in my mind that we had exhausted all other options for him, and to reassure myself that we were making the best decision.
As ‘GP’ vets we are privileged to have the opportunity to play a part throughout the life of your pet, indeed for some we are even there at the very moment that they are born. We watch them grow up and grow old, and I consider it a great honour to be there for you, and for them, at every step along the way, right through until their final days with you.
Bereavement is inevitable after the loss of a much-loved family pet and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. It can have a huge impact on your life and for those who feel they may need further support, there is plenty available.
When the time comes, or if you are worried about what the future holds, please don’t hesitate to speak to us about how we can support you throughout the process of saying goodbye, and we will do all that we can to help you in reaching the right decision when you are ready.